Student Literary Works: Daddy, Don’t Let Me Fall

By Jessica Groves

I was always scared of heights when I was smaller. It would terrify me to climb trees or to get on the tallest slide at our local playground. However, if my fear of heights was bad, my grace was worse. I had two right feet or two left feet. I always told myself, “If you try that, you will fall.” So, I didn’t. My Daddy, however, was the complete opposite. He always tried to ride the highest, fastest, craziest roller coaster a theme park had to offer. He worked on lifts at the Walmart Distribution Center. And in all my life, I’ve only seen him fall twice, and one of them was my fault. I had left a Dora toy on the floor on the way to our laundry room, and he had a box of tools and supplies he was going to put in the garage. He didn’t see the toy, and he tripped and fell on the floor, supplies scattering everywhere.

I will fall if I can’t see everything.

That’s what I told myself. So, I did everything in my power to keep from falling.

My Daddy would pick us up as kids and carry us around. I was scared every time he would lift me up. He used to pick me up and put me on top of the refrigerator, and I would grasp the edge of the refrigerator, hold on for dear life, and cry, “Don’t let me fall, Daddy! Please, don’t let me fall.”

He never did.

He always picked me up gently and set me on the floor, telling me, “I’ve got you. I will always have you.”

Daddy always had this silliness about him. I remember when he used to sit down to watch music on YouTube, and when a song he really liked came on, he sometimes would take one of us girls, grab our hands, and start dancing. I loved it. One time when I was 15, a catchy bluegrass song played, and I was walking past him when it started. He grabbed both my hands and spun me, round and round and round until I got dizzy.When he let go of me, I was stumbling around like a zombie from The Walking Dead. I called, “Don’t let me fall!” laughing and trying desperately to keep my balance. I almost did. But of course, my Daddy caught my arms and steadied me, laughing with me and apologizing.

When I turned 17, a boy asked me to the school dance, and I said yes. Daddy was very mad, not so much at me as at the boy and the whole dance thing. He avoided the subject as much as possible, until one night, he heard me crying to Mama because I didn’t know how to dance. Daddy knocked on my door and told me, “I’ll help you, sweetheart.” And he did. He took my right hand and placed it on his shoulder, and then took my left one. We started swaying at first, and then my foot caught on his shoe. I almost tripped, and I almost told him, “Don’t let me fall”, but he hugged me closer and said, “I know, honey. I know.” I smiled, and we waltzed across the entire room, and not once did he let me plunge.

 I was twenty-five when my boyfriend asked me to marry him. I told him yes, and the arrangements were made. The night before the wedding, Daddy came to sit with me on the couch. He asked me if I was sure, if I really loved him. He told me that no one would ever be good enough for me in his eyes. I told him that I did, that I knew this was God’s will, and that was enough for my Daddy. He held me tightly, tearing up, asking me how he was ever going to let his little girl go and grow up. I told him I was always going to be his little girl, his very own Disney Princess. I told him thank you, for every time he raised me up, held me together, and kept me strong. I wasn’t afraid anymore, because of him. He showed me that in order to become stronger, I would have to fall down first. But then, I needed to get right back up again.

I was outside the doors of our home church, nervous and shaking. My sister had convinced me to wear these two-inch heels, and I was really questioning my fashion choices. I took them off quickly, going barefoot like my Mama did on her wedding day. If it helped, I didn’t really notice.. It was almost time, and my biggest worry was falling because of the nerves. Daddy went up next to me and took my arm to walk me down. He asked, “Are you ready?” I looked at him, then I pleaded softly, with happy tears in my eyes, “Daddy, don’t let me fall.”

“I never will.”